How teens prevent “sexual harassment”
This boy is called Han Xiaoqiang.
More than two years ago, Han Xiaoqiang, who had just finished his first year, was transferred to a key middle school in the county.
There are eleven people in Xiaoqiang’s dormitory. The oldest is more than fifteen years old, the youngest is Xiaoqiang, thirteen years and four months.
At noon on the day of school transfer, Xiaoqiang was resting in bed. Suddenly, a noise and laughter awakened Xiaoqiang, who was in defense.
He turned his head to lean on the bed and looked down, and saw four or five classmates put Huang Yi, who was young in the dormitory, on his back, and laughed at them while Huang Yi struggled.He took off his pants three or two times.
As soon as Zhang Jianjun grasped Huang Yi’s younger brother, he quickly moved up and down, and Huang Yi no longer struggled, leaving them to toss, and several classmates who tied Huang Yi happily cooperated with the boss.
Several other people who participated also came forward and looked at the excitement.
Just when Han Xiaoqiang thought it was inexplicable, when they were inconceivable, a group of people put another young Zhang Liping in the house on the bed.
It kept circulating like this for about an hour, and a total of six people were tossed like this once.
The same thing happened again before going to bed at night.
The next day, the third day, every day after that.
And every time always starts with the youngest.
After that, it was Han Xiaoqiang’s turn to encounter this strange game for the first time.
He said without pain, “They are like this every day, because I am the youngest, and they make me do this twice a day.
Wang Taiping from our class also came to our dormitory because he was the youngest.Being bullied by them like this every day, he hematurized only one semester, and later moved to his relative’s house.
“Hey, I can’t help but have some hair and bones. What kind of psychological control do they have to do this?
How could this sex game last for two years?
Are all children willing to participate?
In this regard, the reporter specially invited Teacher Ma Xiaonian to analyze this case.
Reporter: Teacher Ma, would you please talk to the reader about the reasons for this phenomenon from an expert’s perspective?
Ma: It is incorrect for the author to define this case as “game”, which is actually a case of sexual harassment in a minor.
There are masterminds, followers, and victims, which are typical sexual assaults on the weak by the strong.
Victims should take the initiative to report to the relevant departments (schools, legal departments, or relevant institutions for the protection of youth rights) in order to seek legal protection to protect their legitimate rights and interests.
This is different from the sexual games that sometimes occur in children. For example, it is common in foreign countries to learn masturbation with each other after physical education, when bathing (its school conditions are better), how fast and close the ejaculation is, etc.It is a voluntary, occasional, moderate activity.
In this case, however, there is a clear compulsive nature. The crowd gathers to threaten young or weak students, and the frequency is far beyond the positive zone. The starting point is malicious.
Because the victims lack a sense of self-protection and their sexual psychological development obviously lags behind their physical development, they are forced to endure such sexual abuse for a long time without relevant knowledge (especially self-protection and legal protection).
It should be said that in this case, all the people (sexual assaulted and victimized) are minors, and their psychological causes and formation are different from sexual hooliganism and sexual crime among adults. They are mainly sexual ignorance.Lack of necessary sex education, insufficient understanding of the consequences and nature of the behavior, participants are either out of revenge, or imitating, psychological (do not rule out the nature of the original game, the victim is even driven by a sense of sexual instinctOnly then did this kind of long-term sexual violations occur.
This kind of sexual assault is very harmful, especially for children aged fourteen or five.
Not only will it lead to various psychological problems of the parties (such as sexual sadism, sexual coercion, or sexual addiction), but it will also severely damage physical health, appear various genital disorders, and may also appear flirty, Endangering society.
It can also be seen from this case that sex education for adolescents must not lack education on self-protection, and there should also be no restricted areas, otherwise they do not know what to oppose and what to support.
Reporter: The above cases show that sexual harassment and sexual abuse are not just problems encountered by girls. Boys may also experience this type of sexual assault.
So, how should young people protect themselves in the face of such sexual assault?
How to prevent and avoid same-sex assault in interpersonal communication?
A: For forced sexual harassment and sexual abuse, the most effective way is to immediately tell parents or teachers, if necessary, you can ask the school, public security organs, judicial department or youth protection agency for help.
To prevent and avoid sexual assault, adolescents should not only receive adequate sex education, but also pay attention to grasping the standards of interpersonal communication and the right and wrong.
Normal handshake, slap shoulders, and general physical contact are possible (such as hugs of athletes when they win), but beware of more intimate actions of the same sex in private.
In addition, you should prevent the chance of having separate contact with strangers. Do not enter strangers’ houses and cars, especially the genitals. Do not touch them. Otherwise, you must find a way to get away immediately.
Reporter: What are the common situations in which adolescents experience sexual harassment or abuse?As parents and schools, how should children deal with such sexual assault?
Ma: In addition to the above, which occurs between teenagers, it also includes similar problems that occur between adults and children.
There is only one principle. Protect your children. Don’t fuss or intimidate them.
The child will one day confess to his parents or teacher his past experiences, feelings and feelings of co-ordination, and the parent or teacher must listen to his child calmly, to know how difficult it is for them to speak, how courageous they are, andBe determined not to panic or overreact after hearing your child talk.
The correct way is: you must pay attention to the interests of the child-the child’s personality should be carried out in a safe, secret place, to ensure that this matter does not spread out, do not discuss it in front of unrelated people.
If the child is suspected of being physically injured, take the child to the hospital for examination-the problem is that the parent may not be able to determine whether the child has physical trauma. It is not helpful to just be his own sperm. It is necessary to seek medical treatment in time to make a correct and independent professional.Judge.
If necessary, you can get in touch with schools, public security, lawyers, social assistance agencies, youth protection agencies and prestigious counseling agencies to seek powerful help.
Reporter: Like the above, Xiaoqiang did not realize that he was sexually harassing and abusing others.
So how do you get adolescents to judge whether they have been physically harassed or sexually abused?
Ma: Generally speaking, adolescent sexual harassment or sexual abuse has a development process.
More typical sexual harassment or sexual abuse begins with less intimate sexual activity (such as physical and self-masturbation exposed to adolescents), and then real 8-body contact (such as cuddling) until reproductive insertion occurs.
It can be divided into 5 stages.
A covert time and place, with some first chances of individual contact. The offender is often an acquaintance, such as a family member, a relative, a normally trusted adult or adolescent; the offense often uses some low-key, cunning methods to get the victim to make an appointment.And the alternative is aware of its true intentions.
There is also violence to force victims to intervene.
2.Sexual Interaction Period-Sexual activity will increase and escalate over time.
Mandatory Confidentiality Period-In order to maintain sexual activity for a long time, the offender will take various measures such as material seduction or intimidation order to keep it confidential.
Most children will keep secret for this pressure, and some children will hope that this activity can continue because of the pleasure and enjoyment from the ten (the psychological factor in the above case).
The mandatory confidentiality period can last from months to years.
4．Exposure Period-The truth is revealed by accidental or spontaneous causes.
It must be within a certain period of time if the third party is directly aware of it, or if the victim is accidentally exposed because of physical or behavioral abnormalities.
Face this fact correctly and establish an intervention plan.
5.Suppression period-When the exposure period is over, it often happens that the victim’s family tries to suppress external intervention and may encourage arrests to withdraw the original lawsuit.
The alleged sexual abuse did not occur at all.
Even using various pressures to intimidate children, even spreading statements that would damage their reputation and credibility.
All these reactions and the inherent fragility of the child illustrate how important external help is.
Reporter; Generally speaking, adolescents experience some psychological, physical or behavioral changes after sexual harassment and sexual abuse.
So how do parents and teachers discover this?
Ma: After sexual harassment and sexual abuse in adolescents, the following changes occur-Physical indications include: In contrast to physical discomfort, physical indications of sexual abuse are uncommon.
Acute medical examination may reveal genital or anal abrasions, lacerations, swelling, genitals or clothing with fine spots, pain, or bleeding.
Parents may find that their child’s clothes are torn or reorganized, and there are scratches, pain, or bleeding in the replicator area.
If there is clear evidence of sexual injury at a later stage.
Behavioural evidence includes: sudden intrusive or hostile behavior: self; running away from home; intentional avoidance of special circumstances and people; juvenile delinquency; degenerative behavior (such as starting to suck fingers, enuresis, metabolizing yourself); abnormal orExcessive sexual knowledge; have revenge on sexual temptation or sexual assault (such as trying to touch the sexual organs of other children, adults or animals to equate sexual behavior and emotions); tense relationships with peers; bad dreams or enuresis, etc.Sleep disorders; excessive masturbation and sexual experience; loneliness; fear or fear; becoming very inferior and poor social ability; unwillingness to go to public baths or participate in sports that require changing clothes, such as swimming; often avoid touching and touching; poor performance at schoolBecome extremely submissive, or depressed; extremely improperly dressed (too tight and seductive or covered in thick although the weather is hot; afraid of loneliness; whoever absent from class during a class, asks for leave or is late; alwaysInattention or worry; coercive behavior; lack of basic trust in people, etc., which determines the length of time of injury, the severity of the injury, the violationWhether the person has been identified and dealt with, the quality of the mother-child relationship, and the surrounding people’s response to the incident exposure.
Other signs of adolescence include: Tattoo or stabbing self-harm: suicide attempts; publicly seductive and degrading behavior, promiscuity, prostitution; eating disorders (anorexia nervosa, bulimia, sudden weight gain or loss); social activitiesLimited; negative or fearful of sex; love to lie; carry alcohol or drugs.
If these changes occur suddenly, parents and teachers should pay attention to whether the child has been sexually assaulted.
It can also be ground up. Children who suffer from sexual harassment or sexual anxiety will suffer extensive damage, which will cause multiple physical injuries, and will also have a profound impact on their psychological and social communication abilities.
These effects are complex and cross-cutting. Sometimes children with impersonal and psychological problems are at a loss, and even figure out whether to refuse or continue to keep it.
Of course, some children are “addicted” to this kind of injury. Most of them will feel guilty and think that it was caused by themselves or a disaster. Therefore, there is a psychology of breaking the pot, and after the incident is exposed, they are retaliated by the feared offender.
Some teenage offenders are actually victims of the past, and it is the kind of experience that makes them both painful and seductive, leading to their current sexual harassment or abuse.
Reporter: At present, there are still some restricted areas for young people’s sex education. What do you think about this?
How do you think society should respond?
Ma: The current sex education is often overly involved in timely, modest, and appropriate amounts, avoiding the facts, evading the heavy, and evacuating easily, especially worrying about being accused of “teaching”, “fueling the fire”, and so on.As far as he is concerned, take an evasive attitude.
In fact, there are some problems that can’t be avoided if you want to go back to this question. If some education about contraceptive knowledge is not in place, teenage pregnancy problems will occur.
Adolescents should receive adequate sexual education in a timely manner so that they can recognize that a certain sexual act is safe, responsible, correct, acceptable, and a certain sexual act is unsafe, irresponsible, inappropriate,Unacceptable or must be firmly resisted.